the long haul ~ edition IV

its an amazing feeling when you feel like an adult around your parents. now, i've been an adult for quite some time and if you don't know my family and our politics this won't make much sense, or maybe it will hit too close to home for comfort, either way, i'll proceed with the sordid details.

i love my parents and i am certain they love me. that does not preclude them from forever seeing me as their child. i've lived in a different city from them for approximately 18 years and they've (let's be specific, my mother) just, in the last few, have realized i'm not moving back home. she'd enlist friends that she ran into to coerce me into moving home. even after i purchased my first home, she didn't give up on her relentless pursuit to have all her chicks back. i don't blame her for feeling that way. if i had children, i'm sure i'd want them near. i mean those days of having children just because you needed extra farm hands is pretty much over, at least in this country, isnt it? anyway, my wonderful parents have the tendency to treat me like a child, i've got no idea how to heat my own home, shop for groceries, you know all the basics in life much less the big things ~ where to eat dinner out. i've struggled and made much headway in the arena of distinguishing myself as an autonomous adult. i've made strides in lots of areas, but there's always this little hint, if not a big whoosh, of "yep, you're still our child and always will be".

so, to get to the point of the story, my parents were a visitin' yesterday and they were so great. we had a wonderful all adult day in which we really didn't do much of anything but hang out, eat and catch up. i'm still riding the high of how wonderful they made me feel, all it took was them treating me like an adult, recognizing that i can be not just their child, but a sort of friend. someone to visit with and no politics necessary.

did i say it was wonderful.

Mint

Summer is the time for mint and all things minty. It's the perfect companion for oh so many edibles and drinkables. So my mint advice of the day is Mint up your coctails. One of my top five: Take your favorite gin & tonic or vodka & tonic and just throw it in the blender, in fact make it a double, you can always share. Once its there toss in a handful (or more) of fresh from your farmer's market mint, some fresh squeezed lime or lemon if you prefer, and a squirt or two of honey. Top this off with a tray of ice and blend away. Yummy, soothing, cooling, refreshing, minty delight. I've added fresh grapefruit juice, which is mighty tasty too, but has a tendency to mask the mint more than I like. I've had variations with tequila and rum and simple syrup also. So.. Be creative and get to Minting.

Time for a new view

I'm one of those people who periodically has to change my desktop to something interesting and/or inspiring and/or something that I'm looking forward to. It makes the daily grind seem less like well, a grind. I have a TON of photos from our March trip to Curacao, a few of which are on my Flickr page. Just the few that I thought I really loved. You know, you have a photo taking event, whatever that may be, and when you return and look them over, only a few strike you as public worthy. All the photos may have personal memories which are wonderful, but why bore everyone with a slideshow entitled something to the 1970's effect of "My trip to the Grand Canyon: Ooh, there we are AGAIN looking over the rim." I think you get my drift. If not, I've got some photos to wow and amaze you with. But I digress. So, in looking for something dive/tropical related to inspire and get me through the next few months until my next trip, I find this photo, which it turns out I really like. It has elements I find warming, soothing and just generally pleasing to my little eyes. So, enjoy, or not. No pressure. But, I'll be gazing in anticipation of the next saltwater adventure.

the long haul ~ edition III

its so much easier to say “make changes” than it actually is to make said changes. first off, making changes takes time, actual time and thought and energy. i’m all working on becoming the me i want to be and making changes can be like moving glaciers. sure they move, but global warming aside, it can take years to see that a glacier has moved. oh, did i say, i’m rather goal oriented. i’m doing my best to smell the roses and other pretty things along the way, but still goal oriented. as i become wiser (pseudonym for aging) i realize i also have lost some patience along the way. so what happens is that during my slow, agonizing metamorphosis i realize i’m impatient with said morphing.

patience, endurance, see the goal, reach for it. still working on it, just realizing, like shrek, i have more “layers” than i thought to change. it isn’t going to be one little change to make things better. in the process of making said change, other things will have to change too.

i think i can, i think i can … slow and steady wins the race … are any of these working?

Canon

I'm not always inspired to write blog entries. Then there are the times when I am inspired and don't have the camera with me. I like pictures, I'm visual. A pictures is worth a thousand words, blah blah blah. So many people make their living doing just that, sharing their 'view' of the world. I'm in awe of them. I always wanted to be a photographer for National Geographic or BackPacker Magazine or Scuba Magazine or something equally as outdoorsy. Fortunately for me, I realized I don't have the eye I like to think I have. If I'd have tried to make a living shooting photos, I'd have been gnarled and starved hyena jerkey. Too tough even for the wildest carnivores in Africa. So, I have fun trying and that's just fine with me. Still in awe of those who do have the talent. Goal: Put that Canon around my neck and digitize my world. Wonderful weekend to all.

What's a Tuesday without a cat Pic

Horrible photo, but cutest cat ever.

the long haul ~ edition II

what have i learned about myself in the last week

i’ve learned that if one wishes to effect change, it is much easier without the parameters which come with a significant other. especially if those changes involved said s.o. and by the way, they have no desire to make changes. why would they? they aren’t on the same self-exploring, blogging path i’m on. in order for the relationship to maintain and grow of its own accord, i have to figure out how to make big enough changes in my life that i feel i’m progressing and working my way along the path and yet small enough that the s.o. isn’t pulled against their will off balance. i realize i need to make my life my own and the s.o. should love me for who i am etc…, but realistically when in a relationship, i feel the relationship should be respected and i should work within its parameters, if that is i wish to keep said relationship on steady ground. i’m figuring this stuff out as i go and reserve the right to change my rules as i go also. that is partly what its about, right?

Excuses, Got to be good at something

I miss my mom, I miss my family.

Its been a quite a while since I saw them. My nieces may be unrecognizable. It will be a few more weeks. They only live a few hours away, but I've got a slew of excuses as to why its been forever since I went to see them. Gas prices being number one. Can I blame this on our fascist emir Cheney and his side kick lil' Bush? Oy, it is early in the day for that kind of venom. Time. There's a big one. I have 'stuff' to do and take care of. I guess I'm also just a little lazy. It's easy to come up with excuses why I haven't gone to see them. I've just got to get up and go. But then there's the friend's 4oth birthday, the friend's house warming, the kayaking class I want to take and the yard with weeds as high as my eye and and and.... You see where I'm going with this. Procrastination is a talent I possess.

So, make better use of my time. I guess I should add that to my list of self-improvement mantras. How long can that list get?

A cat pic to end the week on a good note.

To Do

So, if you were around during the 80's, you'll probably enjoy this video link. Just something to do, if the internets haven't provided enough fodder for you today.

the long haul ~ edition I

blogging. why did i start this? why do i continue? is my purpose being served? i started because i met a girl who became a friend who blogs. she's inspiring in so many ways. she's young and has her entire life before her and she's doing it the "right" way. ok, so whatever that means. i know, i know each person has their own path. it just seems to me she is doing it smart. maybe that's better than saying doing it right. each major step seems well planned and thought out. i may not know about the minor blunders if they exist along the way but from the outside, it sure looks good. i also realize that (and please pardon my cliches) today is the first day of the rest of my life. i occassionally reflect on my personal path and make an attempt to learn something about myself, my condition, the world around me and how we interact. i continue this blog because i feel every once in awhile i come across something that, to me, needs written down for future ponderence. (my blog, my made up words.) i ponder while i compose, while i edit and i reread some of the more compelling (again to me) posts. its a form of catharsis. i sometimes feel at odds with the posts. i want to let out my most personal stuff. sometimes i get there and sometimes i only scratch the surface because a few people actually do read this. i'm looking for a little change in my life. i've realized it isn't gonna happen all by itself, i'm going to need to make the change. you may say DUH, but believe it or not, for me, its a big thing to process. i'm pretty passive as a general rule and that includes 99% of my world. i'm learning to make changes, little ones up until now, but i'm trying to expand my thinking. i'm going to try to make some well thought out choices and ride the wave of change. we'll see how that goes. i believe this is my purpose. learning about myself through rough journaling and blog stalking which is an unavoidable side effect of the whole thing.

i'm living for today looking forward to and planning all the tomorrows. i've termed my journey 'the long haul'. i'll need prayers and lots of luck. if you can offer either, i would be appreciative. ok, let's go.