Band Wagon, If you can't beat it, just get on it

Very apparently, I have some learnin' to do when it comes to this photo editing gig. At least I tried, even if it was only for 10 minutes.

Happy Leap Day all!

Obsession(s)

Obsessions, do you have them? What are they?

Me:

Checking on the blogs I read each day - several times each day - if there isn't a new post (ahem, post up girlies) then I check them again, later, and then again later.

Seriously!

Just Pretty

I feel cheated

I mean, I sort of knew in the back of my mind that changes and edits were made, but I held this archaic tenet that really great photography was not but the ingenius and creative eye and the exact right shutter-finger twitch from a master photographer which conjured up the amazing photos I see. I guess I wanted to live in a dream land that the beauty captured was true and real and just there for the right person to come along and scoop up. It gave me hope, in a way, that all I had to do was persevere and be diligent and have heart and all would unfold in front of me. All I had to do was keep looking, keep seeing, keep practicing.

Its just not the case and I am dissillusioned to find my fears are real and that the cracks in the ceiling of my fantasy land have finally come crashing down around me.

A few years ago, I was traveling with some girlfriends. We were all getting ready to face the day and several of these women pulled out eye creams and anti-wrinkle potions and all other manner of anti-aging serum. Truth be told, I paid little attention, I'm not a makeup / lotion / lipstick girly-girl for the most part. But, one of the women who, like me, did not pull out the lotions to stave off the effects of aging, remarked how she was appalled. Not because these beautiful women were saying in a subtle way that they were fighting the aging process, but that none of them had told her they were doing so and how could they not let her in on the secret. How could they be thinking and acting on this without giving her the heads up that they were indeed out pacing her in the fight. She wanted and needed to be up to speed on the subject and it just hadn't occured to her, since she wasn't one big wrinkle, to confront the issue before it became an issue.

Obviously, I took the entire conversation to heart. No, I don't have a lot of wrinkles, yet, but, maybe I should hedge my bets, ya know?

I sort of feel the same here with the photography conundrum. To edit or not to edit. I don't edit (well, there is the obligatory cropping), but is that going to get me anywhere? Am I just approaching it all from the wrong angle?

This all has come about from my sojourn into Shutter Sisters. This picture of after and then later, this picture of before. Both lovely, yet one is edited to capture a nuance the original just didn't have.

Its all my own 'stuff', but it makes me think, what else is going on that the world is aware of that I have no clue about. What am I missing that everyone else just takes for granted as routine, common sense, ordinary?

Just something to do in your spare time. Its great because, well, no matter what answer you put in, you come up with some bombshell or another.

Who is your inner bombshell?

Take this quiz!

WORSHIP! You're inner Bombshell is the beautiful Audrey Hepburn. Like her you've been blessed with a "certain something" that no one could describe accurately. You are more reserved than other bombshells, and that shows in your gentle, graceful nature. You like doing things for other people and love volunteering for your favorite charity. Yours is a rare gift in this day and age. You don't need to show a lot of skin to be sexy, all you need is your eyes. To see Audrey at the top of her game watch the movie "Breakfast at Tiffanys".

Just Read: The Constant Princess

Author: Phillipa Gregory

For me, its an indulgence to read this type of novel. A lapse into the furthest reaches of extravagance and mind candy. But, at the same time, its history, just told from the women’s perspective and with the obvious adlibbing of the conversations, thoughts and emotions. But, isn’t that a lot of what we women are about, the emotions, the thoughts, the thinking, the pondering. School history books should be and are based on the cold, hard, dry facts. Phillipa Gregory takes us into what the minds of the women behind the scenes may have thought and felt. She shows us the desires and the fears of the supporting characters in a factual historic setting. I hate to say it, but I'd probably have paid more attention in history class(es) if they'd been told in novel format.

It’s a nice divergence for me.

Lunar Experiment

Professional photographer, I am not. But, I like to play at it.

Sometimes it just appears out of the night skies

Joy

that is.

It could be the result of several things:

• Sunshine and my general outsidedness last weekend,
• The first bike ride of the season last weekend that kicked my buttinksy - but I made it through - I rode just as far as all the other riders we were with, doesn't matter that for a good portion of the ride I brought up the rear,
• Spring is definitely in the air,
• Sun comes up sooner each morning, being a morning person, this helps my psyche
• Good sleep last night thanks to Benadryl and calcium. I'm not much of a sleeper, so when good sleep happens, Mister says I'm "high" on sleep.

Anway, Lunar eclipse tonight. I will be watching from behind my tripod, with any luck I'll have some stellar (no pun intended) photos for tomorrow's post.

Some things bring joy by their very nature. This photo is one of those things for me. Its not the clearest or the most vibrant, but to me, its calming and nearly brings me to tears of happiness. I feel relaxed and smiley for lack of a better word.

It was taken in Grand Cayman a few years ago (oy! over 4 now). My favorite, albeit only, brother. As you know if you've read much of this blog, he's by far, my favorite person on this planet. And when I say, by far, I mean that my dad and husband rank right up there, but, my brother is the person in this life I've spent the most time, quality time, with. If you have a person, possibly a sibling, that you adore, you'll understand, but, I digress here.

My point is, I should look at pictures like this and take more pictures like this and live my life like I'm standing at either end of that dock, taking the picture or being photographed. Either way, its joy and relaxation and life can and should be just that as often as we can make it so.

Before and After

One week ago this lovely bowl of spring bulbs bloomed and was lovely and fragrant, tulips, hyacinth, daffodils, primrose. Just lovely.

And, one week (give or take) later, its run its course and is on its way out. The bulbs will live on, under the soil, taking in the energy and nutrients from the leftover foliage. Stockpiling it for future use. Saving it for another day when that energy will be unleashed and the beauty of the flowers will once again, brighten someone's day, put a smile on someone's face, make someone reminisce about a spring day in their past when they were a child or a lover in a field. Whatever the remembrance, whatever the memory, it will most likely be lovely. This is how I feel today. Like the sunshine which was prevalent this weekend, has brightened my very soul like it has released the energy I had stored inside that was just waiting for the warmth of the sunshine to make its own appearance. As if I've been rejuvenated by the faintest scent of spring, just around the corner, just poking its head out from under the winter cold earth, bringing crocus bulbs up and into yards and fields and the beginnings of other spring bulbs, poking their stems up, reaching for the heavens and the gentle thawing provided by the sun.

I wax on, but this sunshine filled weekend has improved and fueled my emotional being like I couldn't have imagined. I feel refreshed and new(er) and hopeful again. I feel more like my true self, the me that is positive and cheerful and happy about life in general and I am embracing it full force.

Figuring it out... stream of consciousness

I'm blessed in so many ways and yet I find myself in a melancholy state. I look for the root cause and I look for the solution and I occasionally find myself going in circles. I think I may have S.A.D. I think I've thought this before.

What makes me happy.

What makes me feel real.

Why does this seem like a no brainer and yet I sometimes struggle.

Is it just more than one thing piled on another and that's why it seems so big.

Why do I have such a difficult time putting down into words here, in my blog, my supposed journal, the way I truly feel inside?

How do I truly feel inside.

Why have I not told many people, i.e. people I consider friends, about this blog. Why did I choose the people I chose to tell about this blog.

Is it because they are the people I don't see much, the people in my life that by geography are distant.

Is that the only way I can feel safe with putting 'it' out there.

Holy cow Batman!

Breathe... this stream of consciousness thing may really work. Not that I have any answers to my life ponderings, but, I may have a new perspective, or maybe I just have a whole new set of questions.

Thinking, thinking, thinking, too much of it lately. Things may get ever so slightly more real here for awhile.

Oy!

Ahhhh, Friday

Happy Valentines

It is Thursday, check out Love Thursday at Shutter Sisters. XO Lucy

Edit:

I’m feeling a little, well, I’m not quite sure what it is. Its but 10:20 this AM and I’ve run into 3 separate persons (women) who when I wished them a Happy Valentines Day, they spurned me and the Day with intense fervor. Now, this may be coincidence, it may not, but these three women just happen to be over 49 and divorced and not in any relationship. To me, that makes no difference, the whole being in a relationship thing that is. Valentines Day to me is a day, granted a Hallmark day, but a day nonetheless when we are reminded to express in our own way our love of people be they women or men, be it fraternal or familial or lusty, be it love of a faithful pet or a love of the trees that give us shade and cleanse the air we breathe. They are all forms of love and this Day to me is a reminder to put it out there without expecting a return. Spread the love to one and to all and if its only to your gal pals, then so be it. But, don’t spurn me and my expression of heart. Don’t deflect the love that comes your way. Embrace it, cuddle it, breathe it into your soul and maybe, just maybe something good will come if it, even if it is only the knowledge that you are dear to some one, even if it isn’t of the male persuasion.

Moonplay

Playing with the camera and tripod and moon last night.

New Light

In the light of my trying to expand my personal horizons, I am endeavoring (for now) to take my camera with me wherever I go and photograph the heck out of everything and anything that catches my eye. I told Mister as we strolled through our neighborhood on a brisk but sunny day this weekend that I wasn't sure, but it is quite possible I could be the next Ansel Adams, I just haven't taken enough pictures and I just haven't tried hard enough. I just haven't invested myself like I should. At at the very least, its something I need to do for myself. Something for me. Something that I hope will help fill a space I feel inside my ribcage or on my shoulder or somewhere I just can't quit put my finger on.

Anyway, these are a few of the images that caught my eye and my camera on our walkabout this weekend. For some reason, I just really am enamored with this next shot. Does that happen to you? You see a print or a painting and you don't exactly know why, but, it captures you?

I believe you have to dream big to achieve big. If I am going to dream about being better at something, I'd better dream at being great not just mediocre.

Packrat Much

Things I found in my desk today. All but the lighter fluid was promptly thrown away, well, after photographing them. Battery for Emon-Demon electric meter, burnt exit sign light bulb, many screws and bolts of varying sizes, several port adapters, one molly bolt, one floor mount metal plate for an electric monument, zipo lighter fluid, dimmer knob, center button for a door lock, plastic 'thing' and several thing I can't name. Fortunately for you, I didn't photograph the things that went back into the packrat box.

Cleansing is good.

the long haul ~ edition XVII

• do you feel the gravitational pull?
• do you feel the not quite, but still sort of queasy butterfly tummy?
• do you feel the unrest? the sense of missing something about yourself that seems it must be completely obvious, but still you're missing it?
• do you see a path? a clear, well marked path?
• do you feel like you are all you can be?
• do you feel your current situation whether it be friends or work or family isn't what it should be?
• do you feel you belong in another set of shoes, a set of shoes that has a direction?
• do you feel like you are oft-times walking around in a slight haze as if you were plucked from another world that you can't quite remember and placed here like a chess piece but don't know why and for what purpose?

these are my thoughts this morning. these are the uneasy feelings i have. these are my tribbles, soft and fuzzy and not all that frightening on the surface and individually, but put them all together and they add up to more than the sum of their parts.

Just Read: Water for Elephants

Author: Sara Gruen

A nice story about a man told from two different times in his life, the present and the past. The story of Jacob is told from his perspective when he is 91 or 93 and also from when he is just out of college. Jacob, through cataclysmic turns of fate, ends up working for a circus as the veterinarian. It grabbed me nearly instantly with its easy flowing style and language. I was immediately taken with the characters and cheered for different players at different times changing my views as the story unfolded. Easy and nice. A good place to go for awhile.

Morning - Fourth of February

The following information is provided for Portland, Oregon (longitude W122.7, latitude N45.5):

Monday

4 February 2008

Pacific Standard Time

SUN Begin civil twilight 6:57 a.m. Sunrise 7:29 a.m. Sun transit 12:25 p.m. Sunset 5:21 p.m. End civil twilight 5:52 p.m.

MOON Moonset 1:35 p.m. on preceding day Moonrise 6:21 a.m. Moon transit 10:29 a.m. Moonset 2:41 p.m. Moonrise 6:56 a.m. on following day