Peachy

Last day of April 2007

Tomorrow is May Day

Can you believe how time flies

And that's a wrap

Peace and tranquility are finally here. At least between 7:00AM and 5:00PM weekdays.

Have you ever been an unwilling participant in a three ring circus and not really realized it? It sort of happens slowly over time and before you know it, Crazy is just the soup de jour every day.

People are who they are and time is the ultimate proof of that. They can be on their best behavior in the beginning and in the smallest increments the veneer falls away and quite literally before you have a clue about what is happening, the real real is right before you. The melee has engulfed all that is and it spirals outward, penetrating all aspects of your life and there's no life boat and there's no coast guard and let's face it I'm a dog-paddler at best.

So when the maelstrom quiets and the birds are singing and frogs are sending out their courtship croaks and you hear the cool, blue-grey ocean (I do live in the Northwest folks, not the Caribbean) lazily lapping at the shore once more, its ahhhhmazing. I just want to grab an ice cold stout, lean back in my chaise lounge, close my eyes, soak up the rays of the sun and breathe in the serenity.

Let's just hope this isn't the eye of the storm lulling me into complacency once more.

TGIF

Just Read: Red Star Rogue

Author: Kenneth Sewell and Clint Richmond

I overheard a conversation about his book several months ago and was intrigued. A rogue Soviet submarine during the Cold War era mysteriously sinks off the coast of Hawaii.

This is one version of the untold story. I say one version because its a military and governmental secret protected to this day by the lives of those entrusted to locate and abscond with the secrets that went down with the ship. Its the story of the men who went down with the ship and the secret recovery mission by the U.S. Its the story of how our government tells us only what it wants us (the general populous) to know. Its the story of how our government keeps us in the dark "for our own protection". Its the story of one rogue submarine that attempted to lauch a nuclear attack on Pearl Harbor in March 1968.

Its the story of what may have happened. Much of it was rather interesting and at the same time a little disturbing.

Now, as a post script to this description, I realize I can sound very "X-Files" and conspiracy theory at times. I'm not a fanatic, but the more I learn about what I don't know, the more I distrust our elected officials. I'm looking for a book on Kissinger now. Anyone have a suggestion?

Yellow

Number 1 - Its Spring and I love this time of year when everything is fresh and new and bright and blooming and my yard is wonderful. Its the only time of the year when everything in my yard looks fantastic.

Number 2 - I've got so very little to say and so little time to say it and flower photos are a good filler.

Number 3 - Yes, yes, that's a dandelion. But, what a gorgeous flower it is. and yes, yes, its just out of focus. Let's just say I Meant for the stem to be the focal point.

Yes, its officially Admin Professionals Day. I got my staff, you guessed it, flowers. I think its nice. Don't we all like to get flowers no matter who they are from.

Pink

I wish Spring could last and last and last.

Bright beautiful flowers everywhere, trees in bloom, the air seems fresher, the sun comes up earlier each day, cats are all in heat and howling in the night, allergies are full force making my stock in Kleenex

skyrocket while my

bank account shrinks

I'm the one buying all the Kleenex I can get my

hands on,

I get to see it from my office window but not be

out in it.

Ahh, Spring is a good thing.

Enjoying Spring and other things

These are two tulips in my yard. They were not there when I moved in. I did not plant them. They just showed up one day a few years after I moved in. Unless I went on a planting spree in my sleep, I have no idea how they got there. I don't care how they got there. They are so gorgeous. I look forward to them every year.

Sometimes that's how things in life are. You have little or no idea how they got there, but they are beautiful and welcomed for what they are. I feel that way about a lot of people in my life. That includes the internet friends I've made over the past year. I can't imagine not reading the personal diaries (of all things) of people I've never actually met, but look forward to each day. Say that 10 years ago and it would have sounded like ramblings from a crazy person.... reading someone's journal on the internet, right.....

I so enjoy everyone's company here on my blog. I can always come here and feel like I'm heard. Ya'll are wonderful.

PS - Congratulations MC! I've never met you in person, but I got all teary when I read you were going to have a baby. I felt like a real gehl at that moment.

Earth Day

Ok, so, this post did not come to me as easily as I thought it should /would have. I've come down to this: 1. Things we already do; and 2. Things on the slate for someday either sooner or later. One: (a small homage)

• recycle everything we can think to recycle at the curb and also plastic tubs and plastic bags and foam, etc things that have to be taken to special places for recycling;
• installed a wood stove last fall and have heated my home, for the most part, with trees that have fallen in storms or were cut because they were going to fall soon;
• buy everything we can organic, non-gmo, and as local as possible;
• joined an organic CSA to further our local buying;
• I ride my bike to work when the weather allows. Yes, I know I'm a little bit of a wuss plus its really difficult from my home and must be done from Mister's home so there are some obstacles to overcome;
• Mister and I have never purchased a new car, only used ones which we like to call recycled;
• We line dry our clothes as much as possible. Not towels, because here in the NW we have some humidity and towels would take days to dry and I just don't have the space for that, seeing how my home has a relatively small ecological footprint (is that what it is called?)
• We wash most of our clothing in cold water. Again, warm/hot water on towels and bed linens, just because of what their function is life is;
• I buy organic, fair trade coffee for home and for the office;
• We use earth friendly products around the house (laundry detergent and other cleaners);
• We do not us anti-bacterial soaps;
• We use rechargeable batteries for digital cameras;
• I have a push lawn mower;
• I work for a company the builds to green standards. Now that is very subjective, but the point is we have been building in this nitch for 15 years. As the years go by, more and more advances in building technology are introduced and we do our best to build to LEED standards of the time.

Two: (not really Two, but everyone thinks he should have been)

• Mister is looking into installing a rain barrel which will catch run off from the gutters and be used to water the yard etc.;
• Mister (he is so awesome) has always wanted to heat the house using solar power and be able to contribute back to the grid on nicer days;
• Ride my bike more often to work. This I am pretty certain will happen when Mister and I live together in his home. Its just not plausible from where I live, but his place is perfect for it;
• Mister has always wanted to build an electric car. He may start with a scooter, which we could use to run to the grocery or I could, in theory, in nicer weather, use as a commuter vehicle.

Well, it seems there are more things on the list for Mister to do than me! How did I do that? I think the important part, is thinking about the issue and doing what we can and by doing more things, more new things will come to light.

More things I like...

Spring

I haven't had enough time to enjoy it. Oh, and there's the non cooperating weather.

Excellent 4/20's to all.

So, there you go. Hugeness.

You may remember "It". Yes, that thing I did that will surely change my life. Well, let me tell you, since that fateful day when I blogged first about "It", nothing much has changed in my life in regards to "It". I thought things would morph immediately. They didn't. My life at work became hellious and overwhelming and all consuming. Every day when I leave work I am (well its getting over a little now, but you'll have to indulge me just a little here) Exhausted with a capital E. Mental exhaustion of dealing with all the crapola I've had to deal with in addition to doing my already more than full time job has put me over the edge. I admit, my threshhold for "over the edge" may be lower than some, I include all good teachers in that category in addition to anyone else who has a passion or a drive to take a job / career seriously and put their all in to it. (No, not sucking up or trying to earn brownie points with any persons who may be reading this blog that just so happen to be teachers. My bestest friend is a teacher, a good teacher, and I know (well I think I know) the hours she puts in and the effort she puts out (hehehe "puts out') (I may have had one Sprite and JD just before and during the writing of this post, so, ya'll will have to bear with the not caffeinated, but just slightly inebriated ramblings - two totally different things my friend(s)) Ok, where was I? So, I'm mentally exhausted and working something like 60 hours a week (ok, that's a lot for me people, I am the queen and I work my buttinski off, but I don't average that many hours each week. I also am on call 24 / 7 / 365 so that counts for something......Oy, digression again. My mental tiredness causes me to be physically exhausted. Do you experience that? So when I'm physically exhausted, the first thing that goes in lieu of some extra sleep is the exercising. Of course, that just compounds the problem, at least for me. OH! And I've been drinking more in the evenings........like I had to tell you that at this point in the post.......where is that Mister with my drink refreshener.......... So, what am I supposed to be doing right now instead of entertaining the readers, well at least I hope entertaining, I think I'm entertaining and well, it is my blog so there you go. I'm supposed to be studying. Yes, studying, learning, teaching in effect myself some new skill which I will take with me into my future. The future which I have elected to change. The future which has always in my life just taken me along for the low rolling, sometimes bumpy, but all in all a good ride. The future which I have always counted on being there.

I have paid the monies and paid the fees and been through the government system having background checks and been finger printed for the first time in my life and will very soon folks, very shortly take a State exam which will enable me, Lucy, to go out into the world and make possible the buying and selling of real estate. ... ... ... Yup. That's the "It". (Sorry MC, I tried and tried to out bid just tons of peeps on ebay to get the real IT, but alas, those ebay junkies are ruthless.) That is the plan, the path, the future I have elected to embark upon. Now, it may not sound like that big of a deal, but it is HUGE for me. (Miss A will understand more than anyone.) My job, which I don't know if I can give up completely, is great 90% of the time. How many people can say that? Not so many I would think. My boss adores me and would never in one billion years ever, ever let me go. But then again, he is a boss. But, as I told someone very recently I want to stop just getting by and start getting ahead. I want to be independent and I want to know that when I work my hiney off there will be rewards, cash rewards, vacation rewards. I think I'll just start out doing this part time to see if I like it. I may not like it and will have at the very least learned some new things that are relevant to what I do already. Oy, "It" so doesn't sound like that big of a deal when I write it down, but if you knew me and you knew my stability issues (I am extremely stable - see dictionary definition which includes my picture next to the word) and my personality issues (I can be what they call insecure about my abilities at times even though I know I can do anything, anything I put my mind to) and my innate ability to let the world caress and mold me gently along with the currents, you'd understand. MC, you've been pivotal. Yes, pivotal. Reading your blog and seeing that its ok and perfectly normal to have many life interests and that its perfectly ok to explore them all. I have been in awe since I started stalking you. Since I started this blog thing (ala Miss Colleen) I've stalked so many incredible people doing so many incredible things and being happy and challenged and ok. OK people. I can be OK and not be in a position that I feel bound to, a position I feel I fell into, but in a position of my choosing. I've never made a conscious choice like this before. I've never had the inkling of what that "IT" in my life should be. This is at the very least a new beginning for me is so many ways.

Its huge.

Just Watched: The Prestige

Well, I'm no movie critic, but I watched this movie, The Prestige, that had me thinking and thinking. I'm usually pretty good at figuring out movie plots, like within the first 10 minutes and then I'm done. I'm not touting myself as all knowing, its just that Hollywood has a difficult time not pandering to the money spenders. I'm not your typical money spender / movie goer. I'm a Netflix junkie, just ask me. I think everyone should do Netflix, it is so awesome. Well, it works really well for me and my viewing habits. But, as usual, I digress.

When a movie comes out that is particularly interesting or unusual in its plot twists and games played by the writer and director, I am usually the one who figures these things out. Some of my favorite movies include, The Usual Suspects, The Sixth Sense (Toni Collette is awesome - have you seen Muriel's Wedding), Twelve Monkeys and the like.

At the end of this movie, I had to make a phone call to T to figure out some stuff. Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale were great and well, when isn't Scarlett Johansson just lovely.

The movie is about two rival magicians and their feud. But, given that Mister is an electrician, there are other interesting little tidbits thrown in about Tesla, the man who invented the AC/DC electric system we use today (I think that's how it goes). Edison and his factions of whomever, went to great lengths to stifle Tesla and the movie touches on that just a bit. Interesting stuff. Oh, and David Bowie is in the movie, try to figure out who he is in the movie before you read it on the box. I was surprised. And, Andy Serkis is in this movie. I happen to really like Andy Serkis, aka Gollum / Smeagol.

So, the movie was interesting to watch and actually interesting to ponder later.

I like a good twist and this movie was nicely twisted.

Things I don't like

If you read this blog with any regularity, you'll hear me waffle from one end of the spectrum to the other when it comes to people and my relationships with them. I don't like that I can be so cynical when it comes to people. In my heart, I trust people with things and stuff and I don't just mean physical things and stuff. I trust people with my emotions and my feelings in addition to my tangible things. Its the tangible things I could care less about. I mean, don't get me wrong. I don't want to have to replace stuff that I've spent hard earned cash on, but things and stuff can be replaced. Its the inner me I trust with people that it hurts so much when I feel violated.

My mother, the ever lovin' pessimist that she is, trusts very few people. She is leery of everyone she walks by on the street, well, it seems that way to me. She always would say (and would still) that I am too trusting. There are two schools of thought when it comes to trust:

1. Trust is given, and then taken away, if appropriate

2. Trust must be earned.

I'm more a #1 type person.

So, I don't like that I can be turned cynical, but now that I ponder it on paper (as it were) I realize I'm not turning cynical, I'm just realizing that it is more often than I would like that it becomes appropriate to take back the trust. *sigh* Would it just be easier to be a #2 type person? I don't know that I have a choice, I think I am who I am on this front.

I also don't like.......well, I actually do like brussel sprouts and kale and spinach and the rain. I don't really care for dairy, but that's more physiological than emotional. I like most things. If I think of something I don't like, I'll add it at a later time.

I just like it

A portion of the textile we purchased in Belize on Ambergris Caye. I just like it.

Favorites

This is my favorite brother. He likes to remind me he's my only brother, but I think that's just a technicality.

My parents. How cute are they! Married 45 ish years. That is an accomplishment if I've ever heard of one in this day and age. I am so fortunate I belong to them

This is my sister and her family, well they're my family too. We don't always (well rarely) see eye to eye. We're very opposite in everything we've done with our lives. Neither one necessarily good or bad just different. I'm pretty sure that's why we have so little in common. She is amazing though. She's been married for 25 years this year to the same really great guy. They have two extraordinary girls. Yes, I'm partial, they are my only nieces (so far) and my only children. So, there are my current favorites. I'm missing them right now.

Friday the 13th

And that was my 22 second morning photography.

And that was my 2 minute attempt at making a really boring photo into something more pleasurable.

Have a wonderful weekend.

April 22, 2007 - Earth Day

What will I endeavor to do this Earth Day to be a more responsible citizen of this planet we call Earth?

Well, that's something I'm going to have to ponder for a few days. Try to find 10 things (or maybe 5) that I will actually do on that day and also see if I can keep those 10 (5) things going for one week. (I'm being realistic.) If I try to change too many things at once, they most likely will all fail. If I focus on fewer changes, I'm more likely to succeed. Who knows, I may just make some permanent changes, time will tell.

So, I have to tell you, I sometimes will find new inspiration in places I never thought I would. The internet is one of those places. I've started stalking this blog on occassion. It is a friend of a friend who lives far away but even friends can live far away and still be friends, you know. This post inspired me. I am in awe that she does all these environmentally friendly things. Things she's incorporated into her daily life and probably at this point doesn't even have to think about, they're just second nature. These are things, all of which I would like to do. I, however, am a little lazier (feel free to disagree at any point) than she is. Mister and I do our little piece, but, Earth Day may be a day to ramp it up, well, maybe just give it a nudge since I am being realistic today.

What 2 things are you willing to try for one day? one week? one year? (not a resolution, see So, New Year's Resolutions and Feeling Like a Failure Much?).

More later.

One Click

THIS is a really great post.

Go on, click, you know you want to.

Harley and the House of Hair

It could be either a children's book or an adult creature feature, depending on your outlook.

Harley is becoming a wonderful, furry, lovable, monster. He's very bonded with both the Mister and me. Harley can't get enough of his dad. He loves is mom too, but, even though I love him tons, I've got a way to go until he's in my heart. Is that terrible to say? I don't think so. It's just what it is. I still have Mr. One in my heart and he was there a very long time. I find myself using One's nicknames on Harley and feeling little guilty about it. Like Harley knows they are recycled nicknames. (Would BooBoo be proud of me for recycling?) I could never have actual children. I would be a mess and I understand now how I was never just me (even to this day) with my mom. I was always Suzindy, or CinBillCin, or Suz-Bi-Ci-oh whatever your name is... So, back to Harley and his nicknames. I had 1,003 for One (aka BooBoo) and have only two for Harley. Ok, you have to know up front I am the nickname queen. I rarely call anyone by their actual name. I'm also always morphing the nicknames. Its just who I am..... so......

Harley's very own nicknames are:

1. Shakazulu,
2. Bunny-footed Dodo.

Ok, #1 - Is that some name from a sci-fi program that I pulled from the recesses of my brain, 'cause I have no idea where that came from and #2 - Well, its literal. He's got these huge bunny-like feet and if you watch him walk / leap / bounce around you'd understand. (Oh, we also call him the leapin' lemur ala the Kratt brothers), just use your imagination. As an aside, did you ever watch (disclaimer: I love kids programming and anything to do with animals.....Wild Kingdom, Jacques Cousteau, etc) Public Broadcasting's Zoboomafoo with the Kratt brothers who lived at animal junction? Fun kid oriented animal programming with two cute brothers who ran the whole thing.....anyway.

He is frighteningly like his parents. He has so much personality, but he's just not photogenic. He's all cute and wonderful and as soon as the camera is pointed his direction, he loses all his composure and becomes stiff. Oh, well. All in good time.

We'll get there, its just a matter of time and me not strangling him in the middle of the night. If you ever happen to wake up between 4:13 and oh, say 5:32 in the AM, think of me. I'll be awake, feeding Harley, or trying to pet him into one more small little nap so I can stay in bed just a little longer.

PS - Do you nickname friends, pets, lovers? Do tell...

A New Day

I like to think I'm ever growing and evolving and changing, hopefully for the better. Even if its small increments, that's got to be good. I feel like I've broken through some invisible barrier that was keeping me from surrounding myself with wonderful people. Ok, that doesn't mean the people I've been friends with aren't wonderful. I'm more talking about, well, let's face it, the office. I just cleaned house as it were here and it feels like a hard rain fell and now the flowers are blooming and the air is fresh and the sky is bright and so much goodness is on its way. Ahhhhh........

It's Spring, everything is fresh and new and lovely.

Enjoy.

Good Friday

And yes, after my stress relieving rant, its been pretty darned good. Notwithstanding that I'm the only company employee right now. Yep, lots of work to do here. Come quittin' time though, I'm out of here and brainless. This will be a non-work thinking weekend. That can wait until Monday.

This weekend will be... tonight, picking up the house, misc cleaning of said house, a trip to Costco to pick up misc necessities (aren't all trips to Costco full of the purchasing of the necessities?) and Belize pictures which I finally got uploaded. I've been looking at the pics on my computer for months now and don't have a single one up in the house. That will change very soon. Oh, and I have a walk in my very near future, followed by dinner with the mister and then collapsing on the sofa where I'll sleep like a baby until I have to get up to go to bed.

Saturday, work out early, finish picking up the house, because, let's face it, I probably won't do much tonight, then picking up Teresa at 1:30 from the ariport. From there, we'll walk and have coffee and talk and eat and drink beers (PBRs) at the local skanky pub (name omitted intentionally) where she loves to go and walk and eat and snack and then maybe just hang out a little.

Sunday, see Saturday, post trip to airport, above and repeat generously.

Happy Easter to all and to all a Good Friday.

Fun and Games and Learning and Stuff

This is just for fun. I found it an old email and thought I'd share. Click and get ready my pretties......

http://subliminalmessages.com/vip39.htm

Rant, rant, rant

Ok, so I have to start out with I am happy about certain goings on.

If you aren't in the mood for a rant, well, you shouldn't have gone past the title, but this is fair warning, rant will ensue.

The part that is irksome about people, and when I say people, I really mean people that just aren't that smart or have much in the way of common sense, is that they talk to other people and spread their idiotic thoughts.

Tell me what you think about this.

Scenario: You give your two week notice.

Option A: You work in a job you obviously don't want to be at for an excruciating two weeks whilst they look for your replacement and everyone slowly alienates you because you'll be out of their lives very soon.

Option B: Your boss, who is really quite lovely, wishes you the very best of luck in life, hands you a check for the two weeks you gave notice plus all your accrued sick and vacation time and says, "Good knowing you, here's the gift of time, you can leave at the end of the day and never have to come back."

Which option is optimal? And when someone gives you an unwarranted by-the-by two week paid vacation, do you spread nastiness around that you were "booted" and you don't think its "fair" and tell whomever will listen the person who gave you those two weeks "PAID VACATION" is a terrible person (only in more colorful language than I want to use here on my happy little blog).

It shouldn't bother me and I'll get over it soon. Now you can see why I really don't like to manage people. You give them everything in your soul and they spread nastiness about you. The part the bothers me most is that I've known those the info was spread to for many many years and they want, for some reason, to believe I'm evil and would 'fire' someone who gave notice. (As a small aside, I've been known to fire someone and also give them two weeks severence pay.) I know its just that person who has their own issues and just want to be angry with the world, but, I am human. It still sucks and ticks me off.

Ok, so my rant is, for the most part, over. I'm getting a clean start, a new palette so to speak. I hope I can find some normal and hope of all hopes great people to work for me.

I'm fun people! All I ask is that you do what I'm paying you for. It's really not too much to ask.

Stress

So much to do these days. My bookkeeper's last day was yesterday. I'm glad for her and I'm glad for me. Hopefully both our stress levels will drop. In the mean time, I now have two full time jobs and my other personal stuff that is taking up all my extra minutes. Last weekend was girls weekend. It took several days to get prepared for that. Yesterday I worked late. Tonight I have class until 9:15. This weekend my friend from Sonoma will be here. The following Tuesday through Thursday my parents will be here. In the midst of all that, I some how need to keep the house cleaned up, study, take 6 study quizzes and not lose my sanity. Oh, and there's the Spring growth in the yard that is as of yet unchecked and becoming ever so slightly jungle-like. Photos to be taken. I'd love to try to get on my bike, but that's just a dream at this point. My list could go on.

My intent is not to complain, just to write it all down so I maybe don't forget something. In hind sight, it might not seem like that much, but it will take up all my minutes from here until mid-June.

Hopefully I will find someone to hire that can actually do the job successfully this time. Oy, I need someone to rely on at the office. Why is that so hard to find?

Ciao Bellas!

Girls

Last weekend was my annual girls weekend. Nine wonderful women, three vehicles, 25 bags, uncountable bottles of alcohol and mixer, zero men, one house.

It takes an amazing amount of preparation to get there, but the relaxation is much needed. Although, I didn't get much relaxing in this weekend. I've been fidgety and truth be told, was ready to come home Saturday night. I do enjoy those women, but there's nothing quite like your man, especially when he's your best friend.

Anyway, we do 'girls gifts' at this function. I always struggle with this, well, because I'm just not that girlie. Several of the women make their gifts. This cute little bracelet was one of them. I'm not such a great photographer of my own arm at this hour of the morning, but it is really cute, blue and green and pastel pink.