Ort(s)

Dinner last night was an amazing homage to leftovers. I didn't feel at all like cooking. It seems I've been doing for days and days. I'm not complaining, I just occassionally run out of steam and creativity. The most awesome boyfriend in the whole world has torn out my fireplace and the wall in which it was ensconced and for two solid weeks has been working on putting it back together again (story and pics soon). My usefulness is quite limited when it comes to this project (see story and pics soon). My contribution has been to cook meals for the hard working man. I've done ok with thinking up concoctions of rice, vegetables, meat and spices - not necessarily in that order. But back to last night, ingenuity and drive, non-existent. I found in my little fridge, leftover faux-jambalaya and leftover chicken curry. I mixed them together topped them with fresh tomatoes and called it dinner. Actually wasn't bad. The faux-jambalaya had just enough in it similar to the curry that it all blended together nicely and I didn't have to do anything but clean up.

We were up late last night waiting and wiping down the new tile we grouted last night. I say we, but I really mean Nick. I did help, but he did the lion's share. I think its going to be great.

I love the morning but I hate getting out of bed. Is that an oxymoron - or just moronic? hehe. (Caffeine kicking in....) I just in the last year or so, started actually sleeping at night. I'm a super light sleeper and have always slept with a cat. Has anyone ever told you that cat's are, for the most part, nocturnal? We don't think of them that way, but they are. So, my being a light sleeper and then add a cat in the bed, I've had 15 years of not getting much more than a couple hours a night and then getting woken up. I can usually fall right back to sleep, but that type of sleeping can not compare to many hours in a row of deep, wonderful, catless sleep. So I had guilt for the longest time for kicking the cat, who is now old and more needy than ever, if that's possible, out of the bedroom. Don't get all worried about the cat, he has a heated palace in the garage, cushy extra large kitty bed with extra cushions, a two layer towel enclosure around it and an iguana night time darkened heat lamp directed at the opening. He has his litter box, fresh water, wet and dry food all at his convenience. But I digress. I love the morning, getting out of bed when you're all snuggled in and its cold and dark outside and all cozy warm under the covers is so darned difficult. That said, as soon as I'm up for, oh lets say 5 minutes, I can't believe I didn't want to get up and enjoy the glory of that which we call morning. All things are fresh and I'm too lazy (see above) but the smell of fresh coffee would be wonderful. I'm envious of those who have/make the time to brew coffee, eat toast and read the paper. I'm lucky to get out the door at the crack of 6:30 with my makeup in a bag so I'm not late.

Ok, my apologies, I'm going to let you enjoy your lives now. Seriously, caffeine is taking over my life at this moment. XO Wonderful weekends to all.

I am an American

If you've read any of my 'stuff' you know I, at the very least, try to be pretty healthy with my food choices.

In that light, do you ever just wish for a Bologna sandwich on white bread?

[White Bread]

~ Mayonnaise ~

(Bologna)

~ Yellow Mustard ~

[White Bread]

It is amazing what plain old hunger will do to your thoughts.

Shock and Awe - and a lot of links

Coffee People sold out to Starbucks. (As told in the Oregonian, our local rag - no disrespect intended, just trying to use fanciful lingo this morning.)

That sentence had to stand on its own. I am in shock and horrified at this turn of events. Coffee People was my refuge from the corporate giant with the hormone laden, non-grower friendly, [I added a Starbucks link here to be fair, although it really doesn't make sense if you read it. "Starbucks is the only company licenses to sell Fair Trade..." I probably just don't understand the need for licensing. Check out the Fair Trade link, maybe I'm missing something.] non-planet responsible, all about the bottom line and to 'h - e - double hockey sticks' with the environment, our planet and health standards of those who line their pockets with cash. OY!

It is my opinion, but that is what this blog is about, that Starbucks doesn't even have that great of coffee. Its always very acidic and wreaks havoc with my stomach. Just Google "Starbucks Sucks" and see what you come up with. I'm just very unhappy about this turn of events. I always buy the Organic Human Bean for the office, which is maybe supposed to still be available on-line, and have my soy latte as a once every week and a half or so coffee treat. I'm just not one of those who can bring myself to buy a cup of coffee or cappucino or whatever for $5 every day. Call me cheap or call me thrifty whatever it doesn't matter. And yes, the Coffee People I frequented just happened to be on my way to work in the morning, but the two women who work the early morning shift were/are so great. I went there this very morning and the first woman was like, "Organic right. Do you want your latte today or just the free cup of joe that comes with the beans?" Then the other regular woman walked out from in back and said, "Hey, how's it going? Pound of Organic right? Was that a paper cone..." Its great to have a place where the people are friendly and remember you. I know how Norm from Cheers felt :-).

I can't buy local coffee, it just doesn't grow here. My options were to buy organic, fair trade and/or shade grown. I chose organic, because, sometimes you have to choose. I couldn't choose local - its just not grown here. I couldn't choose shade grown - the powers that be at the office won't drink anything but dark roasts and shade grown coffees, to my understanding, are pretty much light roasts.

Well, that's my rant for the day. I'll be missing my People, but yes, I will find another 'local' shop and will continue to not buy Starbucks.

My less than convenient, but I should not be so lazy, options:

The Ugly Mug

Twin Paradox

Stumptown Roasters

Ramble, ramble, ramble, did I mention I had a 16 oz latte this morning...

Little Bunny

This little porcelain bunny heart trinket box was given to me by my best friend 16 ish years ago. I'm sure she doesn't even remember, but I have kept it in my medicine cabinet, throughout 8 moves. It sits on a shelf where I see it most days. Its small enough to maybe hold one ring, very sweet. It has always served as a reminder that my friend, whom I shared so many intimate and private thoughts and dangerous deeds was out there. Whether it was a few months or a few years between us talking, it reminded me to pray for her and wish her nothing but the best. I am doing that now during a particularly rough time in her life.

We forget (I forget)

I think we forget to be grateful for every little thing and all the big things too. We try to remember we have the best of intentions and then life happens. The next thing you know, you're scowling at the man who brings you so much happiness because of some inane thing he's done. Yes, we all do inane things, even me. I want always to be aware that life is now. Life is what we make it. We can dwell on the sadness and hurt and the ugly things that can be part of our everyday lives or we can move on. See the small things for what they are, small, compared to what really matters. What's really important? Figure that out for ourselves, focus on it and languish in it, be here and now.

I have a difficult time relaying Me. Me, the person, Lucy. I can ramble on and on about the collective 'you' and 'we' and make perfect sense, well at the very least to myself, without giving much away of myself. Without sharing Me. Without risking Me. Without gaining much in return, I guess. As I write this post I realize what is going on in my brain and then I see what I've written. They are parallel and anecdotal, but not the same. I sort of started this blogging to learn about myself, well, here it is learning, right in my face, up close and personal. In that light, I rewrite the above as originally cast in my head:

I started this day doing a little research for Nick's mom on artist blogs. You see, Fran is an artist. I think she's amazing. Her style and pallette are pleasing to my eyes. Last night she said she was interested in starting a blog for her art, but was not sure where to start. I told her I'd help if I could. So, this morning, I do a random Google on artist blogs and long story short I start blog stalking as per my usual voyeuristic nature. There are so many interesting people blogging. I am envious of those who can write, those who can draw the reader in with words on a screen. I want to have that talent, hence my attempt at blogging. Practice make perfect, right? Reading other blogs is helpful to find out what I find interesting and what I don't. There are just as many blogs not worth skimming much less reading and I want to be in the readable category. I want to be in the "must see" category. I don't want millions of hits on my site, but I do wish to be entertaining to those who do drop by. Its kind of crazy because if you new me, you may think this just the opposite of my character. I feel I'm seen as (because we really never know how we are perceived through others' eyes) the quiet one who really is more like wall paper than a piece of furniture or art. Did that analogy make sense? Anyway, in person I really don't want to be the center of any crowd's attention. I am very uncomfortable with that. However, when it comes to one-on-one, I want to be entertaining and fun and spontaneous and someone people want to be around. Blogging, for me, is a sort of one-on-one, me and the reader. Hence the desire to be enthralling.

Ahem... in my artist blog stalking, I came across a blog of a man who has just recently lost his wife. She was young (27) and blonde and beautiful. I find myself unable to tear myself awar from his blog. His posts of anguish and inability to sleep and forgetting to eat and the beautiful pictures (he's a photographer) of his late wife and the extremely sad story of her drowning and their last phone conversation and how they didn't really get to say good bye or hold each other one last time because it was a random thing. I immediately put myself in a similar situation in my mind and am so grateful to have Nick and remember he has a two hour commute each day and am reminded how fragile life is and anything can happen at any time and *poof* Everything is change and can never be the same. I wish Nick and I didn't have our little spats, like when he drives angrily in traffic at extreme speeds on the freeway in heavy traffic and I get very upset because, well, it freaks me out to be going that fast in so much freeway traffic weaving in and out without turn signals and cars pulling out in front of us, because the previously unoccupied space is now filled with a small, black, fast moving, vehicle which is now 1/2 an inch from their bumper with the horn blaring.... That was Saturday afternoon, I almost hurled because I had so much adrenaline running through my system. Needless to say, we had a spat over that (its our usual driving spat). So I read this man's post and realize: 1. life is fragile; 2. I am so grateful for the time I've had so far and am very much looking forward all the more time we have together, God willing; 3. I feel this way about so many people in my life; and 4. I've got to figure out what's important, mostly career questions.

There you go. Me on a platter. Oy.

Here we are at Friday

When in doubt for a topic on a Friday, pull out old photo of hike and hope for the best. Having the photo be large and a little out of focus is always helpful in filling space too. I think its fuzzy because its been shrank for easier upload to Flickr. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

This is Paulina Lake near Sisters / Bend in Oregon. Its May 2004 and snow was still on the ground. Quite lovely and serene. Wish I were there right now if truth be told. Where would you like to be right now?

Just Read: Deep Survival

Author: Laurence Gonzales

I thought this was going to be a book of amazing and maybe tragic stories of people who survive cataclysmic events a la Touching the Void. Its not. Its not really a story at all, its a little scientific in its language and explanation of how the mind, the brain, actually handles (or not) stressful situations. This is interspersed with stories of people who survive (and some who don't) tragedies in amazing ways. Although it was not what I had envisioned, I really liked this book. It has changed forever my perspective on mundane activities like day hikes and freaked me out about more dangerous activities such as diving. I'll keep doing what I do, but I have a new way of planning and thinking trips through before I wander off into the wide world. I may be interested in a survival camp including training of some sort. I'll put that on my list of things to do. I'll also stop giving Nick such a hard time about taking his CamelBack on short bike rides and for always having to have waterbottles and phone books always in the car even for the shortest trip.

PS - The Risotto

Fantastic. I used fresh portobello and shitake mushrooms, some really nice white wine (couldn't tell you what it was now), and 1/2 free range organic chicken stock and 1/2 organic mushroom stock. SuperYummy.

I like making risotto because you spend time with it. You saute and stir and add and stir. All the while the rice is soaking up the hot liquid and mushroom broth and assorted other spicy flavors. When ready, its hot, delicious, perfect cool weather food goodness.

Anyway, I recommend it for all that ails you.

One - The Later Years

Ahh napping, there's nothing quite like a good nap. I miss those days of graham crackers and a good nap in the middle of the afternoon. I wonder why we decide that at a certain age naps are no longer acceptable. Seems to me a good nap would improve the crankiness factor that occassionally rears its ugly head in the early afternoon. I'm not just talking about myself here either.

This is One laying under a dryer heated towel. Yes, spoiled woud be an accurate description.

He puts up with me and the camera so well.

the long haul ~ edition VII

ok, it will sound like i’m on a rant, i’m really not. well, i’m ranting at myself, i’m reinforcing within myself the ideas i’ve researched and decided to try to embrace. i’m working on change and i do that by regurgitating and rehashing. repetition helps me. bear with me, hopefully with an open mind. i ask nothing more. making life changes isn’t an easy thing to do. have i said this before? well, i say it again as a reminder for myself that the task is ongoing. my focus of change, is a life style change. its not dramatic, but subtle. i think the subtle ones may be the most difficult. important to me - why? well, i believe this planet is overrun by humans. i can’t do anything about that other than not creating any more myself. Now, don’t get all defensive, i’m all for children. i think they are wonderful and fun and cute and amazing and necessary. i don’t think having 4 or 5 is reasonable in the light of, oh lets just go with the obvious, global warming, land mass being consumed at alarming rates daily to house the ever growing population, less and less good arable farm land to support us all, i could go on. i / we can do our part to make the resources we have remaining and available to us (our children, our future) stretch as far as we are able. there are steps we each can take reverse some of the damage we as humans have done to this planet we call earth.

a place to start and actually some very interesting information.

book: jane goodall – harvest for hope movie: who killed the electric car magazine: mother earth news

it may sound like a lot. it may sound like a rant. it may sound like i've gone off my rocker. whatever it sounds like, its worth taking note. its worth paying attention. my nieces and the other children of today are worth my doing what i can today to make this a planet that is livable tomorrow. oy, does that sounds like the end of a jacques cousteau documentary? good! he was awesome.

Catching up ala caffeinated beverage

Trying to get back into the swing of things. The last few weeks have been crazy. Don't ask what I've been doing, cause I really couldn't tell you, but I've been doing whatever it is as evidenced by the lack of blog entries. Maybe work is the culprit, maybe I haven't been carrying around the camera and when I get a great idea for an entry I don't have the visual cues needed to really make it hit home or it was suggested the change in the weather / season could be at fault. It could be I'm in a kind of funk about some of my favorite, daily read and anxiously anticipated blogs have recently gone off the air, so to speak. Whatever the cause, I'm working my way back into the swing of things. So to get things started, here's my grocery list for the weekend: AA batteries for the camera, avocados, chicken, arborio rice (the weather change has made me crave mushroom risotto), jalapenos, yellow onions.....Oh, yeah that's right my shopping list isn't why I write this .

Anyway, what have I been doing in the last couple months that I have wanted to post about, but didn't have adequate visuals for: I made peach freezer jam and also freshly picked blackberry freezer jam. I'd never made peach before, tastes so yummy and fresh but didn't set up. Oh well, it still went into the freezer and will be eaten. The blackberry.....picture drool here. Love the fresh blackberries. Speaking of blackberries I made stew a couple nights ago and last night turned the left overs into pot pie, yes of course I made the crust. So, with the extra crust, I made a blackberry pie for Nick (his favorite). It turned out just about perfect - I can't always say that about my pies. A few weeks ago, I attempted a blackberry pie but used wheat flour in the crust - because I'm trying to eradicate processed flour from our diet, but I digress - so the verdict is DON'T USE WHEAT FLOUR FOR PIE CRUST. For heavens sake, its pie. Its not going to be the best thing for your health. Just use the processed flour so the pie is edible. Oy, it was disgusting. Tasted like blackberries wrapped in raw cardboard.

What else, I've wanted wood heat in my house since the first winter I lived there. There is nothing quite like wood heat. If you've ever experienced it, you know what I mean. If you haven't, well, I can't help you. Anyway, we (Nick who can't stand the cold) decided I needed a woodstove and that he was motivated enough to put one into my house. Yes, its a lot of work 98% of which he is doing. He's so awesome. It required taking out the fireplace that did nothing but smoke up the house and produced no heat, tearing out the wall, insulating, sheetrocking, tiling the floor, texturizing the new sheetrock, painting and installing the new woodstove. We (ie Nick) is only at the sheetrock phase. We (I) will be buying tile this weekend. That could be fun. In the mean time, he's a keeper and I've vowed to cook up a storm for him, hence the pies.

I went to California to visit by best gal pal Teresa. We always have just a great time. I got to see my wonderful friend (whom I lovingly call Sister) Julia and her beautiful family. Sad though because it was a going away party. They are moving to Washington DC. It was so great seeing her though.

Went camping with my family and had a really nice time. Mostly hung out with my cute nieces, played cribbage and ate a lot. Rafting / camping with my brother which was great except for the traffic most of the night. Don't people sleep anymore? Trying to get motivated to make small life changes. I think I may get my realtors license. Can't believe I only did one hike the whole summer, that makes me sad - where have I been and what have I been doing that takes precedence over my hikes. I blame Nick and his projects ~ just kidding ~ sort of ~ he's very focused and I have to be the one to unfocus him. He's always grateful that I do, but he won't initiate those types of things, he's got projects you know. Am planning a trip to Belize since Lake Powell didn't work out, Dec 2 - 16. I'm envisioning many tropical photos in my blog future. I thought a new blog layout would be fun, then as I got into it realized I've done quite a bit of work on making my blog look like I want and I was going to have to recreate the wheel. No time for that, so for now, same old blog style.

So, I guess I started this out with nothing to say and not knowing what I've done with myself, but by the time you add in working 5 days a week and trying to workout on a regular schedule and the last few paragraphs of little stuff, that's all the time there was. I think I may have broken through my blogger's block. Monday will be the test. Take photos! Now that I say that out loud, I can't believe I've not taken any photos this summer. Has the real me been abducted by aliens?

Excellent weekends to all, XO Lu